Owners vs parents.
We have a lack of parenting here.
It seems we are having more and more children who are brought up by parents who made “bad parental decisions”. More and more parents want to be friends with their children, but totally ignore their parenting responsibility. But what is the difference between “owners” and “parents”?
Owners: Provide food, shelter and maybe friendship to their kids, much like you would raise a dog.
Parents: Provide much more and make sure to raise their kids to be a functional member of adult society in such a way as to challenge the kids in an age-appropriate manner.
What we’re seeing more of now is:
Adult children who cannot function as an adult. Some can barely pay their rent, but cannot save for the future or make more complex adult decisions.
Rising rates of uncontrolled anxiety and depression with little or no coping skills. More personality disorders which results in them blaming other people for their own poor choices. (A key part of a personality disorder is the “victim complex”, but that is not the only symptom one looks for. One looks for a pattern of behavior that matches the symptoms.)
More violence, probably among the people with uncontrolled anxiety and depression.
More ignorance of basic adult things like how much house to buy, how to manage money, and basic economics.
Lack of basic manners and ways of dealing with others in a social situation. In some cases people completely avoid social situations.
The inability to recognize the difference between facts and feelings (which is purposely taught in US public schools.)
The inability to see they are being gaslighted by the media and the education system. And one reason is some parents are just weak and don’t speak up.
The inability to find sources to back up their own “facts”.
A lack of motivation. I see more and more people on forums who asked “how do I motivate myself?” IMO, for the most part you don’t, you just go out and do it, you don’t wait for motivation.
The inability for people to take control of their own lives. They just wait for someone else to come and make their dreams come true. I call this “pervasive passiveness”.
An intolerance for different viewpoints.
And these people vote based not on facts, but on their ignorance, and that has wide-reaching affects in the society.
Parents really need to step up and start parenting to provide the following items:
Confidence in the child, but not over confidence or coddling. There is a middle ground here which works best.
Skills for managing money and having self-control.
Teach them skills to develop coping skills.
Teach them to be more positive. Everything starts with a positive attitude although for some this can be hard to cultivate, or even impossible, especially for people with a hopeless, victim attitude who have not developed a measure of control in their lives.
Teach them the ability to find facts, and evaluate sources. Reputation of the source can matter but it’s not the final word on the source.
Teach them that feelings are valid but they are not facts.
Teach them basic economics, how to budget, how to manage debt, how to buy enough house without buying too much. In general US banks will approve someone for twice the mortgage than anyone should ever have. A good rule of thumb is your mortgage payment plus house insurance plus taxes should not exceed 35% of your net paycheck each month.
Teach them tolerance for different viewpoints.
Nothing will get turned around unless parents act.